Robin opened his eyes to find Starfire sleeping next to him. He started violently, as he could not remember him and her…hell, they hadn’t even gotten to second base yet, as Robin still had to explain to Starfire what “second base” was.
Robin, moving as slowly as he could, tried to get up and get dressed, but he was only halfway out of bed when Starfire opened her eyes.
“GOOD MORNING ROBIN!”
“AH!” Robin yelled, falling out of bed. “Kory, what are you doing in there?”
“Well, we put an end to our current puzzling on why we are singing and went to sleep, but before I did I read once of those Earth magazines that women always seem to read, and they kept saying that when you love someone you sleep with them, so I came in here and went to sleep beside you! Is there a problem?” Starfire asked.
“No! No problem at all!” Robin said, stumbling away. In reality there were SOME problems, but he really didn’t want to talk about them.
Starfire smiled happily, then her eyes grew thoughtful, and then she smiled again.
Starfire: This is the man that I have entangled, isn’t he fine?
So many girls towards him angled, and yet he is mine!
This superhero stuff is a tough biz
But I’m glad as my stance is next to his
The only trouble is…I’ll never tell.
(Robin sweeps Starfire off the bed ala a ballroom dancer)
Robin: She is the one, such wonderful fun, such passion and grace!
Warm in the night, when I’m right in her tight-EMBRACE, tight embrace!
I’ll never let her go, the love we’ve known can only grow
There’s just one thing that…no…
I’ll never tell…
Both: ‘Cause there’s NOTHING to tell…
(Brief pause, and then the two head to the kitchen)
Starfire: He snores.
Robin: She wheezes.
Starfire: Say housework and he freezes.
Robin: (looking in the fridge) She eats these skeezy cheeses that smell like month old socks!
Starfire: We try to talk but his act is…
Robin: She doesn’t known what “tact” is!
Starfire: We don’t know he’s not obsessed with a guy named after a rock!
Both: The vibe gets kind of scary
Robin: Like she thinks I’m TOO ordinary
Starfire: That this is just temporary
Robin: Like, her toes are kind of hairy!
Both: But it’s all very well
‘Cause god knows, I’ll never tell!
Starfire: When he thinks things will trap him
He goes and hides behind his Batman
Now I see he’s gonna start snap’n
‘Cause he knows that I know
Robin: She clings
She’s also kind of greedy
Starfire: (interrupts) His eyes are beady!
Robin: This is my verse, HELLO!
(The tempo abruptly changes)
“Look at me Robin, I’m dancin’ crazy!” Starfire said as she broke out into a dance number. Robin joined in and the two danced in the lounge.
Both: You know
Robin: You’re quite the charmer
Starfire: My night in armor
Robin: Perhaps your bizarre tastes in food-ies
Gives you your lips as red as rubies
And your firm but supple-
The dance continued, staying fast but eventually slowing down and stopping as the two Titans sat down.
Starfire: He’s swell
Robin: She’s sweller
Starfire: He’ll always be my feller
Robin: That’s why I’ll never tell her…
That I’m petrified…
Starfire: Have I read this tale?
Is there a wedding or betrayal?
And if it comes to that
Will I stay or hide?
Both: I lied…
I said it’s easy…
But there’s these fears that I just can’t quell
Robin: Is she looking for a pot of gold?
Starfire: Will he love me till I’ve gotten old?
Robin: Will our lives become too stressful
If I’m never that successful?
Starfire:Will I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkly?
Robin: Am I crazy?
Starfire: Am I failing?
Robin: Have I fallen for an alien?
Both: Are Romeo and Juliet the ones we’re tailin’
In love being a living hell?
So thank god I’ll never tell!
I swear that I’ll never tell!
Robin: My lips are sealed!
Starfire: I take the fifth!
Robin: Nothing to see, move it along!
Both: I’ll never…
And the two sat down as the song ended.
For a few seconds there was the usual silence.
“I’d like to amend our discovery.” A voice suddenly said, and Starfire and Robin turned to look at Raven, standing in the hallway.
“Not only are these songs sudden and without cause, they seem to revolve around our innermost secrets and feelings. So unless you want to suddenly start singing out our secret identities, I suggest we find out what’s going on, NOW.”